THERAPY FOR THOSE IN LAKELAND, TAMPA, MIAMI, AND THROUGHOUT FLORIDA
The Overthinking ONE
For People Who Are Done Pretending Everything Is Okay
You just need a water bottle.
That’s it. A container. For water.
You’ve decided you want to focus more on your health, and staying hydrated seems like a pretty reasonable place to start.
So, naturally, you search: “Best water bottle.”
And now we have questions. Should you get something lightweight or one big enough to hold your entire day’s water?
Plastic? Metal? Glass? Straw or spout?
It definitely needs to be spill-proof. How easy is it to clean? Will it fit in the cup holder? Will you actually carry it if it’s too heavy?
And obviously it needs to be cute because the whole point is to inspire you to drink more water. So you research. Compare. Read reviews. Open tabs. Close tabs. Reopen one because wait, what did that review say about the lid?
Eventually, you find it.
This is the one.
You pick a color. Add to cart. Purchase.
Thank You For Your Order.
Done…Except. That other color would match your office better.
Let me check that color again.
Now you’re back on the website comparing the color you already bought to the one you suddenly think you should’ve bought.
Should you cancel the order? Did the charge already go through? Maybe you should wait until it gets here, return it, wait for the refund, and then order the other one.
Or maybe…
Hey…Hey you, yes you.
It holds water. And the funniest part? A few days later, a package shows up.
You forgot you ordered anything. You open it.
OH! MY WATER BOTTLE!
And this thing is f*cking ate! Perfect size. Great color. Comfortable to carry. You love it. Obviously.
You’re the one who picked it.
Maybe you don’t actually have trouble making good decisions. Maybe you have trouble trusting yourself while you’re making them.
Therapy can help you recognize when thinking is giving you clarity and when it’s just giving you more shit to think about.
You’re Not Indecisive. You’re Thorough.
You like information. You want to understand your options. You think things through. You consider the pros and cons.
You don’t want to make some impulsive decision and then have to clean up a mess you could’ve prevented by taking five damn minutes to think first.
Fair. Thinking is one of your strengths. The problem isn’t that you think.
The problem is that sometimes you keep thinking long after thinking has stopped helping.
At first, the research gives you information. Then every answer creates another question. Every option has another option. Every decision has another possibility you didn’t consider.
And somewhere along the way, you go from:
“I’m gathering information.” to “I’m f*cking overwhelmed.”
But instead of taking the overwhelm as a cue to stop, your brain says:
Clearly, we need more information.
Hey, you. No. Sometimes you have enough.
You finally choose. And for approximately 3.2 seconds, there is peace.
Then: Should I have gone with the other one? Wait, did I consider…? Maybe I should check one more thing.
And just like that, back down the rabbit hole you go.
You made the decision. Your brain just hasn’t accepted that the rabbit hole is actually not that deep.
So you revisit. Reconsider. Recalculate. Reevaluate.
Maybe even ask somebody else what they would’ve done. Not necessarily because your decision was bad.
Because there might have been a better decision.
And if there was a better decision, you want to know about it.
Preferably before it’s too late. The problem is that there will almost always be another possibility you didn’t consider.
At some point, you have to decide what information is enough.
Then There Are the Decisions That Actually Matter
A water bottle is one thing. Your relationship? That’s different.
You love your partner. You respect them. You didn’t enter this relationship imagining that one day you might seriously wonder whether you should leave it.
Who does? But lately, the thoughts keep coming. Is this the end?
Cue Adele.
Does not being swept off my feet anymore mean the spark is gone? If I don’t have the urge to be intimate, does that mean the attraction is gone? Can we turn this around? What else can we try? Who can we talk to?
And underneath all those questions is something much more painful: I don’t want our love to die.
You aren’t taking this lightly. You’re not threatening separating every time you’re pissed. You genuinely love this person. And at the same time, there’s a thought you’re almost afraid to say out loud:
Maybe we would both become better versions of ourselves apart.
And now you need to know. Is that thought telling you something important? Is this just a difficult season? Are you expecting too much? Have you tried enough? Would counseling help? What if you stay and five years from now realize you already knew?
What if you leave and realize you made the biggest mistake of your life?
There is no product comparison chart for this shit.
No reviews. No return policy. No way to live both lives first and choose whichever one works out better.
And that is terrifying when your usual strategy is to think until you find the right answer.
Sometimes Your Brain Reopens Shit That Was Fine Five Minutes Ago
Picture it. Girls’ night. Everybody looks good.
Everybody’s dressed according to their own style.
And you? You are firmly in your comfort over everything era.
You have on your favorite sandals. Nothing fancy. But these hoes are comfortable.
You researched the shit out of them, thank you very much.
One of your girlfriends looks down and says:
“Where did you find those? Walmart?!”
You laugh. Funny little jab. The night continues. Everybody has a good time.
You say your goodbyes. Get in your car. Start driving.
…Wait.
Was she calling me cheap? Was she saying my shoes looked cheap? Did everybody else think that? Was she joking-joking? Or was she joking but actually meant that shit?
Has she thought this about me before?
GASP.
I beg your finest pardon?! These are highly rated Amazon Basics, actually!
Now an interaction you experienced as funny while it was happening is under review. Maybe there really was some shade in the comment. Or maybe your brain simply discovered another possible interpretation.
Those are not the same thing.
Just because you can think of another explanation doesn’t mean you’ve discovered the real one.
Sometimes there is something worth addressing. And sometimes?
These sandals are comfortable.
Case closed.
WHAT IF THINKING HARDER ISN’T THE ANSWER?
Hi, I’m Victoria Freeman, Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC).
I work with thoughtful, capable, self-aware people whose brains can generate seventeen possibilities before everybody else has finished considering the first one.
And I’m not interested in teaching you to stop thinking. Thinking isn’t the enemy here. We’re going to get curious about what your thinking is doing for you.
Is it helping you understand something? Giving you useful information? Helping you make a thoughtful decision?
Or have you crossed the invisible line where you’re rereading the same information, generating more possibilities, becoming increasingly overwhelmed, and somehow convincing yourself that the answer is to think harder?
Sometimes we need to slow the whole thing down. You might come to me saying:
“Maybe I need to separate from my partner…”
Okay. Tell me more.
How did you come to that conclusion? How long have you been thinking about this? How long have you been feeling this way? And can you name what you’re actually feeling?
Maybe the answer to that last question is, Sad.
I feel you. Describe the sadness. When did you first notice it? What was happening, or not happening, that you longed for?
Maybe you realize: I miss feeling desired. I miss feeling valued. I miss my partner’s romantic validation.
Okay. Those things matter. But does missing them automatically mean your relationship is unredeemable? Could those feelings be discussed? Are there options available that you haven’t tried?
Sometimes the question keeping you up at night isn’t the question we need to answer first.
Imagine Handling Things Differently
Stop feeding your brain more information.
No more reviews. No more articles. No more hypothetical scenarios.
No more reopening the case because you discovered Exhibit Q at 11:47 p.m.
Be quiet. Listen.
Not make your mind completely blank.
Let’s not get carried away.
01
Ask yourself what you already know.
What do you know?
What do you feel?
What keeps coming up?
What do you need?
What are you afraid of?
What do you already know that you might be hoping more information will talk you out of?
02
You don’t always need certainty.
Sometimes you genuinely need more information. Sometimes you haven’t considered something important. Sometimes you need another perspective.
And sometimes?
You already have enough.
You just don’t have certainty.
03
Change is possible.
I’LL HELP YOU GET THERE.
Please. You’re still going to research. We both know this.
You might always be the person who knows entirely too much about a product that was supposed to be a casual purchase. That’s fine.
The difference is that now you start noticing what the research is doing to you.
At first: Oh, that’s helpful. I didn’t know that. That’s something I should consider.
Then something changes. You’re rereading. You’re getting tense.
Every answer creates three more questions. You’re more confused than when you started. You’re overwhelmed.
And instead of telling yourself: I need more information,
you recognize: I’ve had enough information for right now.
You stop. Not because you know everything.
But because you’re mindful enough to recognize when something that was helping you has stopped helping you.
You Might Be Wondering…
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You might.
Sorry, not sorry.
Therapy cannot guarantee that every decision you make will produce the outcome you hoped for. What we can work on is trusting yourself to make thoughtful choices with the information available to you and trusting that you can respond when new information comes.
You don’t have to predict every possible outcome to be capable of handling what happens next.
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We’re not trying to make you careless.
Thinking, researching, reflecting, and considering different perspectives can be incredibly useful. The question is whether you’re still learning something or whether your brain is generating possibilities because uncertainty feels uncomfortable.
Those are different experiences.
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Then we get curious.
What do you know? What are you assuming? What are you feeling? What happens when you get quiet instead of immediately chasing the thought?
You don’t have to force an answer. Sometimes clarity needs a little room to show up.
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Then get more information.
The goal isn’t to stop researching at some arbitrary limit.
It’s to notice whether the information is helping you move toward clarity or further into overwhelm.
We Might Be a Good Fit If You…
Think deeply and want to understand why you respond the way you do, not just be told what to do.
01
Want honest feedback and are willing to examine your own part when something isn’t working.
02
Want support without giving up your autonomy.
03
Are willing to experiment with doing something differently once you understand why the change matters.
04
You Don’t Need to Know Everything Before You Make a Move
You can think things through. You can research. You can ask questions.
You can consider different possibilities. You can change your mind when new information genuinely changes things.
And you can learn when to say: This is enough for now.
Enough information. Enough consideration. Enough research. Maybe not enough to guarantee the outcome.
Enough to take the next step.
Buy the water bottle. Have the conversation. Ask the question. Try the thing. Set the boundary.
Make the appointment.
Then let yourself live life long enough to discover what comes next. Because maybe you don’t need to become a better decision-maker. Maybe you already make pretty damn good decisions.
Maybe you need to trust the person making them, more.